Mortal Agent of a Vampire - Chapter 6

That night I wandered the streets for half the night and realized that finding a rental apartment was not going to be possible. I had no choice but to go home and squeeze in with Brian, just like my mom had suggested.
After I left Vince, my job at the paper flourished and I landed several celebrity interviews in a row. Without him to harass me, I could finally sit down in the dead of night and work on my sentences or mock interviews in the mirror. I still think about him from time to time though, what can I say? Vince isn’t the kind of character you can forget overnight.
As I write this, it occurs to me that Vince visited me once, three days after I moved away, when I was sitting at the window doing maintenance on the lens. Brian’s desk was slightly too short for me, and it was covered in stickers of heroes from the Avengers and an expletive carved with a pocket knife. You know, puberty.
“Knock, knock,”
Two knocks on the window made me look up, and I held up my glasses to find Vince hanging upside down from the eaves of my house in an eerie position, like a giant bat.
“Whoa!” I stumbled to the ground with a loss of weight, the shadows cast by the lamp on his face made him look nothing short of horrifying, a real life version of a curse. It took me a lot of effort to get up, still in shock, “Do you want to scare me to death?!”
He flicked over and sat down on the windowsill, “Your vacation ends tomorrow.” He sounded as if he was saying something like, “A warm reminder to fasten your seatbelt.”
“You’ve got it wrong, I said I’m quitting, I’m quitting, the labor relationship is terminated, got it?” I crossed my arms and made a negative gesture.
Vince shook his head, “You can’t do that.”
“I can.” I said firmly.
Vince sighed, “Well, let’s not talk about that, don’t you want to invite me in for a minute?”
“Oh?” I hugged my arms and gloated at him, “You’re not even afraid of the sun, yet you need an invitation to enter someone’s house? You’re not infallible after all.”
Vince narrowed his eyes threateningly, “I’m a gentleman, don’t push me.”
I shivered and immediately opened the window, “Come in.”
The next instant he was sitting in the only comfortable armchair in the room, still holding the beginning of one of my fantasy novels – something I occasionally wrote but never published.
“I have a Russian blue cat ……” he read it out loud, and I rushed up and snatched it away, “Stop, it’s my privacy!” I was pretty happy with that beginning, but it turned my stomach when he did that.
Vince shook his head, “You’re leaving me for this crap?”
“You’re the trash.” I retorted, “Just leave me alone, okay?Let’s just get it over with, with a hundred grand a month, you could have found a hot secretary with an MBA who’s a jack of all trades.”
“No, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from eating her.” Vince stood up and walked over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking at me sincerely, “Lyle, you don’t know how unique you are, I’ve been searching for a long time before I found one as unattractive to me as you are.”
Is that a …… compliment? I swatted him away, feeling mixed emotions, “Thank you, I’m simply flattered – are you done?” I made a gesture towards the window to send him off.
“Come on, I’m just stating the facts. Besides that’s not the only reason.” Vince gave a thoughtful look.
“Oh?” I paused to see how else he could change his mind about hitting me.
Vince stammers for half a second before finally saying, “The important thing, Lyle, is that you’re a good person.”
Great, that’s what Mina said, and then she turned me down.
“You mean the fool kind?”
“No, man,” Vince shook his head, “I mean really, I’ve been watching you for a year.”
“What?”
“Since the first time I saw you.”
I put up my palms, “Wait, that’s a little creepy.”
“I had to make sure I had the right guy.”Vince continued, “He had to be hardworking, loyal, kind, and keep his mouth shut-”
I was a little floored that he was praising me so much, “Oh …… this well ……”
Vince’s next comment sent me back to the ground, face down, “- like an old yellow dog.”
“Roll ……”
“So that means you’ll be back, right?” Vince laughed and looked at me.
That’s when my brother pushed the door in, “You’re talking to yourself in the mirror again ……” He froze when he saw Vince.
“I’ll be waiting.” Vince finally said, leaping out the window and disappearing.
“Oh, he’s ……” I was about to explain to Brian when he interrupted me, “Your boyfriend?” He shrugged indifferently, “It doesn’t matter, you tell him he can come through the front door next time, mom always thought you were gay, we were all prepared for that.”
Obviously I didn’t go back to being Vince’s ‘old yellow dog’, it made my lungs explode to hear him describe me that way, I would have liked to have been a German Shepherd or a Golden Retriever if I hadn’t. I worked harder to get my mom to stop calling me “poor little baby” and soon it was Christmas Eve. One Friday night, my coworkers and I partied to celebrate the end of the year.
I stepped up to the plate and volunteered to take the responsibility of getting everyone home from drinking. As much as I would have loved to get drunk, it just doesn’t cut it when you’re living in your parents’ house and squeezing into a bed with your middle-school brother. The party went on until midnight, and after I threw the last guy full of shit at his wife, I parked the newspaper car back and walked down the street.
The sky was covered in dark clouds, the road was cold and clear, and I had a sudden sense of boredom; I didn’t want to go back, I didn’t want to lie in Brian’s bed with Harry Potter sheets on it (no offense to Harry Potter by any means) and fall asleep listening to my dad’s snoring next door, but other than that I couldn’t think of a better place to go. I wandered the streets with my camera on my back, taking some night shots, it was a big city and I didn’t have to worry about backtracking at all, the mansions and viaducts were even more eerie and depressing on camera. Then I was completely lost and the camera’s battery was bottoming out. Inch by inch the sky lightened and I sat down on a bench at the station, ready to catch the first bus back.
Just then, I spotted a blue Ford parked not far across the street. Without even looking at the license plate, I knew it was Vince’s car.
He was following me? That was my first thought. But I soon learned that I was getting ahead of myself. The window was open and one of his arms hung out, a bouquet of roses held loosely in his hand. The red petals were brilliant against the blue car door.
I don’t know if he noticed me or not, but anyway, he waited there until it was white and a kid delivering newspapers ran over and took the bouquet of flowers, and a bill, from him.
The kid crossed the street, knocked on the door of a house, handed the flowers and newspaper to a woman dressed as a nurse, and ran away.
It was all so strange that I almost couldn’t resist going up and asking what was going on, but then I remembered that Vince had nothing to do with me anymore, when the bus came, and I got on and left the place.
Christmas came and went in a hectic way, my editor had arranged for me to cover a big event which conflicted with the family skiing vacation and I decided to stay without much struggle, I couldn’t ski at all ……
Still it was harder than I thought it would be to spend Christmas Eve alone, so as not to look so miserable I bought a turkey from the supermarket, a small Christmas tree, and decorated it with colored lights, and it ended up looking awful, as if it had been hit by a blizzard.
The house was horribly quiet, so I turned the TV on, although the hell with it. I called everyone I knew one by one, wishing them well, all the calls from my family were out of service, and my coworkers gave me much the same answer, a background of laughter coupled with “Hey, Merry Christmas!I’ll talk to you later okay, we’re in the middle of ……”
I threw the phone away and slumped on the couch. I regret that I didn’t go skiing, I could have learned.
Then I thought of Mina, the thoughts came like a tidal wave and I couldn’t sit still any longer. What’s the big deal about being rejected once or twice? To muster up the courage like a warrior, I knew I would give her happiness, I shouldn’t give up.
I rushed to the jewelry store, which was closed, I called the manager and coerced my way to finally pick up the ring, I rushed to Mina’s house.
“Ding-dong”
Three doorbells later, the door opens, the warm light of the house spreads over me, and the person I’ve been longing for comes into view.
“Oh Lyle, it’s you?” Mina looked surprised, but soon, she broke into a sweet smile, and boy, did she look gorgeous, “I’m glad you could make it.”
“I ……” I reached into my pocket and touched the box with the ring in it, my hands sweaty from nerves. Do you think I’m saying I love you or I look up to you?
At that moment a man walked up and wrapped his arms around Mina’s waist from behind, “Baby, who is it?”
I recognized the blonde man and I suddenly wished I could pull out a gun.
“Oh, you remember that middle school friend I told you about?” Mina gave the blonde guy a kiss on the cheek and re-turned to me, “Don’t stand there Lyle, come in and have a glass of champagne, how did you know my wedding was today?”
A wedding?
I had the feeling of hearing that I had been sentenced to death. Oh yes, the balloon flower arch, the rose petals all over the floor, Mina in her wedding dress with a tiara, the blonde guy dressed up like an emperor penguin, my IQ must be pulling down the community average to have missed all that!
“Hael must have told you, right?” She finally said, turning around. I watched her back as she walked back into the midst of the merry crowd with the blonde guy on her arm, the door still open, and I left in silence.
This Christmas Eve was awesome!

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