Mortal Agent of a Vampire - Chapter 7

I don’t know how I remembered to go to Vince. It could have been out of Schadenfreude, I’m lonely so I’m going to find one that’s lonelier than I am to get a sort of mental balance.
Or maybe it was just because, well, he was last on my pathetic social circle list.
It took a while to find him, he wasn’t in the Pantheon, I thought he’d gone foraging for food, but suddenly, I thought of that place, and my intuition told me he must be there.
And there he was.
Every house was hung with holly, bells, flashes of colored lights, canes and hat graphics spray painted on the glass, and it seemed like the whole world was surrounded by joy, except for me and this blue Ford in front of me. Vince was sitting alone in it, the car radio’s jukebox channel was filled with all kinds of people showing off their love across the airwaves – well, he sure was a lot lonelier than I was.
“Happy Christmas Eve, look what I brought.” I leaned over the car window and waved the long-cold stuffed turkey in my hand.
Vince glanced at the plastic Walmart bag, “Thanks, I’m touched to death.” He opened the car door and I got in.
“What are you doing here?” I realized he had been staring at the house across the street, a slim figure inside reflected in the curtains. If I didn’t know him better, I would have thought he was a stalker or something.
“You wanted to ask last time, didn’t you?”
“You found me?” I’m no longer surprised at his omniscience.
“I could smell you from a distance.”
I was a little offended that he made me sound like a piece of garlic, but I didn’t protest, “It’s not too late to ask, is it?”
“Might as well tell me what you’re doing here.” Vince threw the ball back again.
“Didn’t you already read that?”
He gave a wry smile, “Looks like it’s not your lucky day.”
“We could start a miserable Christmas Eve support group,” I shrugged, “Now can you share your experience?”
Vince shook his head, “No, no, my story can only be told to my agent.”
“You’re so stubborn, you know that?” I thought the page had been turned.
“It’s not news. Let me tell you something new, I could have controlled you to work for me, you know?” He suddenly turned to me with an unexpectedly serious expression, “I could have washed away your memories and made you my slave.”
That was a bit of an exaggeration and I didn’t believe it for a second, “Then why didn’t you do it? Wouldn’t it be much simpler?”
Instead of explaining, he pointed to the homeless man huddled on the corner, “See him?”
“What?”
“You, come here.” Vince waved him over.
The homeless man glanced at him disinterestedly as Vince took out a hundred dollar bill and beckoned, he stood up and walked over.
“Is that for me?” He took the money.
“Yes.” Vince said and then looked at me, “Would you believe I could turn him into a crab.”
“Next thing you’re going to tell me you’re David Copperfield, aren’t you?”
Vince ignored my joke, he looked up and stared into the hobo’s eyes, his golden eyes glowing eerily in the darkness, “You’re a crab, got it?”
The hobo’s eyes gradually lost their luster and he stood there frozen, “Okay.” Vince said, but nothing happened.
I laughed out loud, ‘He’s still ……’
The hobo started waving his arms, splaying his legs and scurrying sideways. I gaped.
“Get in the car.” Vince ordered him.
He lowered his body, opened the door with his index and middle fingers in a vice-like grip, and climbed into the back sideways.
Now I believed him, “Why didn’t you?” I asked with a backward glance, thankfully he didn’t.
Vince didn’t answer positively, “When a man has a gun in his hand and doesn’t use it to grab what he wants, what is it for?”
He looked so somber that I must have had a momentary lapse in my mind and I said, “Well, my answer is, well.”
Vince immediately laughed and I had the feeling I’d been duped, “I know you’re a good guy, Lyle.”
“Don’t ever let me hear the word nice guy again.” I hated nice guys, “But, I have one condition, I don’t want to take orders from you completely, we should be on equal footing and discuss things.”
Vince made a noncommittal face, “Want to sign an employment contract?”
“I’m serious.” I emphasized.
“Okay,” Vince spread his hands, “but I do have one condition, you can’t just walk away like you did last time.”
“I reserve that right.”
“You’ve gotten worse.” Vince frowned.
“Who asked me to sit next to a bad guy.”
My first task on Christmas Eve was to deliver flowers to the owner of the house across the street, it seemed that Vince had been doing this for a while and I didn’t understand why he didn’t do it himself, but it was a small favor I wasn’t going to refuse him.
Holding the roses, I rang the doorbell and a young female nurse opened the door, seeing the flowers in my hand she smiled, “Come in, come in! She has been hoping that you would come in person, she has been waiting for over a month.”
Apparently she misunderstood something, I quickly waved my hand, “No, I was just asked.”
The nurse looked disappointed, “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought ……”
I felt a little overwhelmed, “Anyway, Merry Christmas, may I see her?”
The nurse reintroduced a smile, “Sure, she’s asleep, but I’ll wake her up, she’ll be happy to see you.”
I declined her kind offer, saying I was just stopping by, and she led me into a bedroom. In the dim light, an old man with white hair lay on the bed, his face serene and peaceful, a photo album spread out in his hands, the photos in it looked like they had been taken a century ago.
The nurse put the album away and put the roses in a vase by the bed. The whole process didn’t make a sound, except for the low rumble of the oxygen machine in the corner.
I stayed there for only a short time before backing out.
When I got back to the car, the ‘crab’ was in the back spitting bubbles, “Can’t you just get him out of here? I already know what you can do.” I wiped the spit that had been sprayed on my face.
“Be merciful, it’s Christmas Eve, you can’t just kick someone out like that.” Vince said, starting the car, “How is she?”
“She’s asleep, I think she’s fine.”
Vince nodded and I was about to ask a question when he suddenly changed the subject, “Which do you think is cooler, seeing the aurora borealis or skiing?”
“The aurora borealis, of course, why?”
“Me too.” Vince smiled, “Let’s go see the aurora.”
“Now?”
“I didn’t say anything about year-end benefits?” He slammed his foot on the gas and the car sped off.
An hour later, we were on Vince’s private jet.
The captain, a Terminator-like guy with a constant poker face, didn’t complain about working late on Christmas Eve or even spit on Vince for wearing sunglasses in the middle of the night. When Vince told him, “Go to Helsinki.” He just nodded, and then we (a vampire, a human, and a crab) took off.
Once you’ve been on Vince’s private jet, you don’t want to be on any other plane. It was so comfortable up there, with real lambskin recliners, a home theater, Dolby surround sound, and, he definitely had the genius mind to put a Jacuzzi on it.
Perched tens of thousands of feet in the air, we played plastic ducks in the churning currents, with deep night and a sea of clouds outside the windows, and Christmas comedies like Kids on the Block playing on the screen. I ordered a glass of red wine while Vince took out his ‘cellar’ of O-negative blood.As the hot brown-skinned beauty of a stewardess handed me my goblet, I tilted my head back to admire the tantalizingly deep stream between her swaying bosoms; I didn’t want to look horny, but no man could resist the image ……
“You’d better not be harboring any fantasies,” she said as she walked away with an exaggerated sway of her hips tightly wrapped in her white skirt and Vince leaned back against the the edge of the tub and took a sip of his drink, “He’s from Thailand.”
Luckily, he warned me just in time, and I turned around to see her walk into the men’s room.
“Man, you are a lifesaver.” We clinked glasses.
I guess it’s because we’re in the Arctic Circle that the darkness continues. The plane lands in Helsinki and the bitter cold gets to my southerly self and I think my shit is going to freeze. The journey wasn’t over yet, we switched trains and made our way to Lapland, from here, as far as the eye could see, the mangy snowfields knew no bounds, forests, mountains, rivers, everything was covered in snow.
We were lucky that we didn’t encounter a snowstorm. The snowy plains were quiet, and the sled pulled by two elk took us on a speedy ride. Soon we were far away from the village, and came to an open area by the frozen river. There was no sign of human activity here, and it was full of pristine purity.
The driver was sent away, and we walked slowly along the riverbank. What I didn’t understand was that “Crab” was still following us, and I could see him scurrying around waving his pincers when I turned around. Vince probably wanted a pet.
“Do you think we’ll see it today?” I asked Vince.
“It never hurts to try.”
Soon after I asked, the night gradually brightened up, a blinding blue ribbon slowly dropping between heaven and earth, like a gently undulating veil rattled by the wind, the Milky Way generously scattered large handfuls of stars behind the halo, the entire firmament was like a huge screen studded with diamonds, staging the most magnificent and magnificent documentaries in the universe. This is a miracle second only to life created by the sun.
“Oh my …… my goodness!” It’s a super silly line, but this really isn’t the time for wordplay, I can’t even take my eyes off the sky, even blinking seems like a burden. My brain was already numb from the shock.
“Yes, this is ……” Vince was obviously trying to come up with a comment that sounded superior to mine, but it didn’t work, and I suddenly hugged him, bouncing up and down like a girl fresh out of elementary school, splattering snow all over my face.
“Awesome! That was great! Did you see that? That was fantastic!” A series of silly words burst out of my mouth incoherently. Well, whatever! Aurora Borealis is not a sight you step out of your house every day, you must have had the experience of being in the presence of a ghostly nature, such as a sea of clouds and a sunrise or something, and the first thing you do is to wonder if it’s all real, yet when you’re sure of it, in the midst of extreme joy you can’t help but to want to embrace (or even kiss) whomever’s beside you, because you’re all God’s lucky ones.
Well, screw God ……
Vince used his powers to break free, and he dusted the snow flakes off his body with a graceful posture, “This is too much to bear? How are you going to live next then.”
He was right, and half an hour later I erupted into the same awe at a poised hot air balloon.
The flamethrower made the colorful canopy bulge quickly as I boarded the wicker basket and Vince snapped his fingers, “Fly, baby.” At the same time, the hot air balloon rose up with us as if on command from a wizard.
We kept going up for a mile before we controlled the flamethrower to let the altitude stabilize. The wind was bitterly cold, but I couldn’t have cared less. I stretched my body as far as I could out of the wicker basket and viewed it from the air, the magnificence of the Aurora Borealis in all its splendor, seemingly close at hand, but when I reached out my arm to catch a glimpse of it, it drifted elusively.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring my camera.”
Vince sat on the carpeted floor of the wicker basket, “You could go to a souvenir store and buy a set of postcards, I bet there’s always one in there that’s almost as good, and technically superior to yours.”
“I’m sure.” Surprisingly I didn’t return his cynicism, it seems nature isn’t bluffing when it comes to healing the soul, with a final fond glance at the sky I sat down, “Hey, what did you come up with, preparing a hot air balloon here? It’s a good thing I’m not a female or I would really fall in love with you.” The travel agency should totally develop this program.
Vince shook his head, “It wasn’t my idea.”
I waited for him to say more.
“It was ……” He thought for a moment, as if weighing whether or not to tell me, “It was Leonie’s idea.”
“Leonie?” I repeated, “You mean the grandmother?” The nurse told me that was her name.
Vince affirmed.
“That’s not surprising,” I mean, women, by nature, are synonymous with romance, “but she …… and you ……” I asked halfway through the question, then waved my hand, “Oh, never mind, you’re not going to tell me.”
“She ……” As if to surprise me, Vince suddenly said as I gave up, “I love her.”
I was completely stunned. For several moments neither of us spoke, and I looked into his eyes, which were dark green and reflected the shadows of the aurora borealis, yet underneath it seemed like a frozen lake in winter, unreadable.
“But she …… must be at least seventy years old?”I estimated conservatively, “You ……”
Vince laughed a little, “My silly Lyle, it’s not like she was born seventy.”
Oh, why didn’t I think of that, he met her when she was young. I hated Vince’s tone, it was exactly the same as when my mom called me ‘poor little baby’.
“So, what are you guys, old buddies? You’re the one who sends her flowers every day, get it – when and where did you first meet her?”
“Is this an interview?” Vince asked alertly.
“No, just a regular conversation.”
“That’s what the reporters say, and then the next day, pound for pound, your doctored to hell and back story makes the headlines.”
“Hey, I’m not a reporter now, I’m just your agent, okay, and I didn’t even take out my recorder.”
Vince looked at me scrutinizingly for a moment, then averted his eyes, “Okay, count yourself out.”
Then he began to tell his and Leonie’s story.

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