When I opened the door, I still habitually shouted “I’m back” to the room. Although there was no response as usual, it didn’t matter, I was used to it. First, Yi Tian is not always there, and second, even if he is, he never responds to me.

I pulled the suitcase into the house. I had been on a business trip to City A for a week this time, running around the factory with the manager every day. In the evening, I had to accompany those bosses for drinks, and I didn’t get back to the hotel until midnight. I was exhausted from vomiting in the bathroom and didn’t know what time it was when I finally fell asleep. I hadn’t rested well for several days, and now I just wanted to take a shower and throw myself on the bed for a good sleep.

When I bent down to change my shoes, I noticed two pairs of shoes on the floor. I was stunned and walked into the living room, immediately hearing the sweet panting coming from the direction of the bedroom.

I froze on the spot.

“Yi Tian… be gentle… be gentle… ah…” The voice became more and more high-pitched.

I listened to the sobbing moans, and for a moment, my heart felt as if it had been pierced by hundreds of holes, shaking with pain.

I suddenly thought of a news story I had seen, where a wife came home to find her husband and his mistress in bed, and in a fit of rage, she killed both of them with a knife. At this moment, I suddenly admired this wife, who could at least convert her pain into anger and had the strength to die together. But I could only tremble like an epileptic patient, holding onto the sofa and slowly sitting down to avoid embarrassingly falling to the ground.

In fact, humans have an instinct to avoid pain. Just now, every cell in my body was shaking and shouting to leave this place, but I clenched my fists, and no matter how painful it was, I sat here, masochistically.

Something in my heart was rapidly flowing away. I was glad that the inexplicable and firm love that had never wavered since its root was slowly disappearing from the bottom of my heart. At the same time, I could only watch helplessly as my inner world collapsed.

When I was a child, I inadvertently saw a picture on TV. The world in a boy’s eyes was black and white, but when he saw a certain girl, he saw colors. Starting from the figure of the girl, the colors slowly spread, the blue of the sky, the red of the cherry blossoms, the boy’s world gradually became colorful and bright.

During that time, every time I closed my eyes, this dazzling picture appeared in my mind. I told myself: one day, I will also wait for such a person to save my hopeless and dark life and bring me light and hope.

And now, my light and hope are in my room, in my bedroom, rolling in the sheets with someone else.

I took a breath and got up to get my luggage from the door. Perhaps it was numb to the extreme, or maybe the human body’s storage of pain is limited. This time, the stimulation was so great that I finally exhausted it all at once and no longer had to be tormented by it.

I pulled the box into the living room, and the two people probably finished their business, and there was no sound in the house. I opened the box and took out the things I bought for Yi Tian, which occupied two-thirds of the space, and piled them up on the table. I found a big bag from the cabinet and packed all those things in it, ready to take them out and throw them away later. Looking at this full bag, my heart ached so much that my teeth were sour. What’s the difference between this and throwing money away?

Behind me, there was a “click,” and I turned my head to see Yi Tian pushing the door and walking out. This man was wearing jeans on the lower body, and he was bare on the top, with some sweat-wetted hair on his forehead, and his cold lips were pursed under his high nose. He saw me without any surprise on his face, and he just walked straight past me and poured a glass of water and gulped it down. I stared blankly at his throat rolling up and down, looking at the handsome profile of the man I had missed for a week, thinking that I would throw away the glass later, or it would not be clean even after disinfection. A delicate and beautiful boy came out of the bedroom again. If I am the kind of person who can’t be found even with a magnifying glass on the street, he is the type who will become the focus everywhere he goes.

I thought he would be surprised, shy, and ashamed when he saw me, after all, this is my home, and the person who was just on top of him is my lover. But who knew that he didn’t even look at me, just smiled faintly at Yi Tian and said, “I’m leaving,” and then left. I shook my head and watched his back, sighing that this kid is really good at this, compared to those little boys who had been to bed with Yi Tian before and then sneered and showed off in front of me, he is much higher than one level. But none of this has anything to do with me, let them mess around.

I should put the clothes in the suitcase back in the bedroom, but I don’t want to go in now. Not because I dare not face it, I am worried that the smell inside will directly knock me down, so I have to first talk about the important thing.

“Yi Tian, let’s break up,” my voice was as calm as saying “the weather is really good today,” even I was a bit surprised at my own calmness.

The man opposite put down his glass and looked at me with raised eyebrows, and after a while, he spat out a sentence: “Have we ever been together?”

I suddenly realized that I was really silly to say such a thing. What’s the point of us two being together? I am just a free tool for Yi Tian to vent his desires, and I am still a tool that uses all despicable means to stick to him.

I walked into the study, opened the locked cabinet under the desk, took out a file bag, opened the bag mouth to confirm the photos and negatives inside, I got up and walked out. It’s these things, I tied him to stay with me for 2 years.

I walked up to him and handed him the bag, “The photos and negatives are all inside.”

He didn’t reach out to take it, but just sneered at the corner of his mouth and asked me, “What are you trying to do?”

I looked at his untrustworthy expression, and my heart was very empty. He probably thought I had set another trap for him to jump into, so even if what was in front of him was what he had been looking for for 3 years, he didn’t dare to take it.

This is actually not his fault. Three years ago, I drugged him and had a relationship with him, took photos and threatened him to be with me. These photos are my only chips, without them, I will not only lose him, but probably my life will not be safe, I gave them to him so easily, if he could take it without any suspicion, it would be strange.

In fact, with Yi Tian’s background, even if those photos were exposed, probably no one would dare to publicly publish them, but what does it matter, his character would not allow one more person to see those photos. So I succeeded, I succeeded in making him stay with me. Even if I was later beaten and hospitalized, I was also full of excitement and happiness.

I thought that everything would get better. As long as I work hard, I am good to him, the best to him, better and better, he will definitely be moved and will accept me and fall in love with me.

At that time, I was so naive and stupid, I didn’t understand that this world is not a pay that will yield.

I stuffed the bag into his hand, “You are free, and no one can threaten you in the future.”

He frowned and looked at me while opening the bag. When he saw those shameful photos, his face immediately changed, as if he had seen something extremely disgusting.

I was a bit tired, so tired that I was about to close my eyes. I finally went to the bedroom to find an air conditioning quilt and brought it to the living room to sleep on the sofa.

Yi Tian still stood in the living room motionless, probably the happiness came too suddenly and he was a bit overwhelmed. I didn’t care about him, leaned on the sofa and was about to fall asleep. Suddenly, a strong force pulled me up, I opened my eyes, Yi Tian grabbed my collar and looked at me fiercely: “What on earth do you want to do!”

I looked up at the ceiling, the light on the ceiling was broken and old, the wall was wrinkled and yellow, just like their master, exuding a decadent atmosphere. After a while, I heard my own empty voice, “Yi Tian, this is my home…”

Since I was a child, what I have been longing for is just to have a home. When I was in the orphanage like